Ages of Anticipation: Book 1 Awakening
by Corianin
Summary: For Bella, life has been growing steadily more interesting...erotic...confusing...frightening... What lies around the corner for the Cullens, the town of Forks - indeed, for the world - will become the greatest challenge yet.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: It has been far too long, and if I had the words to apologize properly, I would gladly do so. Alas, such phrases do not yet exist. Nevertheless, I am sorry.

In the process of getting a new netbook to take to work, to make it easier to update, I managed to get my own files so badly jacked up that I didn't realize I'd essentially fucked up the entire posting of Ages of Anticipation. I have had to go back and read over the complete Ages series from the beginning to see where I screwed everything up. I have now managed to figure out exactly what I did, and as such I can fix it and move on. This story is scrabbling at my brain, and it's been killing me to not be able to write any more of it down or post it, but I didn't want to run the risk of confusing an already involved tale with timeline shifts that didn't exist and rewrites of entire sections I'd already posted. I know some of you have been heartily confused by the transition from Conflict to Anticipation, and I'm glad I've finally been able to get it straightened. As such, I deleted the previous posting of Anticipation and am starting from scratch. Bear with me while I get things back up and running again! :-D

* * *

After a spectacular dinner and a few glasses of some sweet-tart fruit juice that Carlisle explained had some from a small orchard somewhere near Panama, he'd offered her a choice in their evening entertainment. While games and movies were tempting, as was the draw of him reading her a story - a concept she'd never considered, yet immediately liked and filed away for future reference - she shyly suggested an idea of her own. He acquiesced with more than a bit of surprise and questions of her certainty, yet after a few minutes they were on their way out the back door and into the woods.

"Why this?" he questioned, honestly curious. She took a moment to gather her words.

"I just...well, I hope to be one of you someday. For a long time now Edward has been trying to convince me that I don't know how dangerous you all are. He's eased off now that he's surrendered his need to keep me mortal, but I just...I want to see for myself. I need to see the other side of the people I love the most. And I know you're the only one that wouldn't deliberately downplay or exaggerate your actions in an attempt to either soothe or scare me. You trust me to know my own mind more than any of the others do."

"I will admit to a deep-seated need to protect you, Bella love. But I have no doubt you do not need coddling. If you are certain, then I have no problems. You will, however, tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable in any way?"

"Of course. I promise."

And so it was that she came to be sitting on a log in the middle of the forest by herself. He'd made sure she was comfortable, kissing her gently.

"Still sure?"

"Yep."

"Okay. Stay here and be very quiet. When you see an animal charge into the clearing, don't jump or make any noise. I can assure you I am in no danger of being distracted by you, but I cannot say the same for anything else out here. And I would hate to cause you pain." Kissing her once more he disappeared into the darkness. She followed his instructions, remaining very still, and huddled in his jacket she was warm and content. Patience came easily despite her rampant curiosity.

Suddenly there was movement off to her right. Bella held her breath in anticipation, staying perfectly still as a large, harried-looking buck tore past the log she was on. Before she had a chance to blink she caught a flash of movement. In the space between one heartbeat and the next, the enormous animal was down and she was watching in absolute fascination as Carlisle fastened himself to the herbivore's throat. She supposed she should feel repulsed, disgusted, but all she knew was that he looked absolutely magnificent. There was nothing but silence from the elder predator and the buck had ceased its struggling as the mouth against its neck slowly pulled the very life from it. She found herself amazed at the caring in Carlisle's posture, the way he gently cradled the huge head as he fed, his other hand softly stroking the animal's flank. Even in feeding he was considerate, and it was breathtaking.

It seemed to take forever; it seemed as quick as a blink. Bella knew she would never forget this image. Savage and beautiful - for the first time ever she felt like she could see the meaning to...everything. There could be no life without death, no beauty without harshness. But death, in itself, gave purpose to life; even the harshest truths could still be beautiful. It baffled her that Edward could be part of this primal circle and feel nothing but despair. Maybe it would be different when she was an active participant in this world, but for now...she felt humbled. She felt blessed. And she had to admit to herself as she watched the deer succumb to mortality in the sure grasp of the vampire before her, as she watched him slide gracefully to his feet, as he turned his shining eyes to hers, his tongue slipping out to lick his lips - she felt completely, utterly aroused. It was nearly overwhelming in its potency, undeniable in its urgency. Her very soul was desperately aware of her life, her existence, and she felt her heart pounding like a jackhammer with the intense urge to prove that she was a part of it all.

With a snarl she didn't recognize as her own she dove for Carlisle, her hands dragging through his hair as she fused her mouth to his. He seemed taken aback by her sudden possession of his body but it took less than a second for him to match her ardor, the insane need between them driving all other thoughts away, leaving behind only the unquenchable desire to mate, to complete the cycle she'd just seen in all of its splendor. He met her passion for passion, and it didn't matter how many times they'd been together that day, that they were in the middle of the forest in the dead of night. She demanded - he gave - she took - he insisted. Her back would bear marks, likely even scars, and she never flinched. Later, when she was Bella Swan again, she would wonder what one earth had driven her to initiate such a fierce, animalistic coupling in a forest not ten feet from the carcass of the deer whose blood she could still taste on her lover's tongue. But at the moment the world was her and Carlisle and life and death and ecstasy and pain and nothing else mattered. And the expression on his face - surprise, wonder, utter delight - as he dipped into her mind to share her thoughts was enough to send her careening into a climax so painfully wonderful she knew she could never explain it. Her voice screaming his name, her hot flesh spasming around his invading lust, flung him out into space to join her and for a brief, shining moment their eyes met and they understood.

In silence they lay there, still joined, her gasping breaths matching his unneeded but just as ragged ones. Bella was completely undone by what had just transpired. And when she looked up into his shock-widened eyes, she saw the same awe in their depths that shimmered in her own spirit. A part of her, the human part, was slowly beginning to resurface and suddenly she was blushing and ducking her head. His fingers touched her cheek.

"Don't."

That one word meant so many things. She could feel them in his mind as it was still tightly bound to her own.

~Don't hide. Don't withdraw. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Don't leave me. Please.~

The shakiness of his thoughts mirrored her own and since she didn't trust her voice she responded silently.

~I never...I mean...that was...~

~Indescribable.~

~Yes, exactly! I don't know what happened. It was just so...and you...and then it...and we...~ Even her thoughts were disjointed.

~Bella, love?~

~Mmm?~

~Thank you.~ The words, though simple, reverberated with gratitude and awe.

~For what?~ She was puzzled.

~For completely accepting who - what - we are.~

~Carlisle, I should be thanking you. For entrusting me with something so powerful.~

~You are magnificent, Isabella.~

~Funny, I was going to say the same thing about you.~ His smiling eyes were looking into hers and she smiled in return. Suddenly a blast of chilled air brushed over her and she shivered.

~Let's go home, love.~ Suiting actions to words, he slowly pulled himself from her embrace and helped her back into what clothing she had left that wasn't destroyed in their haste. In the end, she was wrapped in not much more than his warm jacket and he cradled her against his bare chest as they returned to the house.

* * *

She felt so much better after the conversation she'd had with Angela the day before. Laying in bed that night, she'd debated heading to the playground, but she noticed with some shock that she didn't feel a need to sort out her thoughts. Just hearing her choices out loud as she'd talked seemed to firm her own decisions in her mind. As she lay there on her bed, she began to talk to no one in particular, her voice soft and low.

"I may not have had much of a choice in any of this, but still...I could have handled things differently. I could have gone to someone. I could have spoken up. But I didn't. And to just...throw away the consequences of my lack of backbone because it's not convenient...I can't do it. No, I'll take care of you. I may not have wanted kids, and yeah, it'll be difficult, but I can't handle the thought of anyone else being hurt because of that bastard." She realized with shock that she was beginning to talk to the small life within her, and while she felt a bit foolish, it was also soothing in a way she'd never expected. Rolling onto her side and curling up slightly, one arm resting on her hip while her hand gently stroked over her own stomach, she let her eyes drift shut and just let the words come.

"I'd always imagined it differently. Graduate, go to college, meet someone nice who loved me for me. Job and husband, a family later. If I'm totally honest, regardless of how long I've had feelings for your father, I honestly could never picture him in my life as a partner on a permanent basis. This has just proved to me what a mistake that would have been. So plans will change for me. So what? Plans usually don't last very long anyway - something always happens you have to adjust for. I'll do my best to be as good a mother to you as mine has been to me. Maybe when you're older we'll sit down and we'll talk about all of this, about choices and consequences. But I want you to know that I love you. You're barely there and I love you already." She smiled, stretching out on her back again and placed both hands on her still-flat tummy.

"I promise, whatever happens, I won't do anything to hurt you. And I'll do everything in my power to make sure no one else harms you as well. You deserve the best life I can give you, and I promise to make that happen. Somehow." A feeling of peace and tranquility washed over her, and Jess knew that it was also mingled with relief at her own choices. Basking in the first feelings of true contentment she'd had in months, she lay there for a while before slipping out of bed and heading downstairs to make herself breakfast. After food, she'd decide on the rest of her day. Her father would be picking up some overtime hours today, and her mother wouldn't be back until this evening. A day by herself would have bothered her even yesterday, but today...everything felt new, somehow. And despite her still present fears, her worry and her apprehension, she felt pretty damn good about herself. It was a decent way to start the day.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: And here's the second half of the repair job. NOW I can finally start putting the pieces back in play again! Thank you all for oyur patience, you are absolutely awesome!

* * *

"Kill me?" Her voice was ice, a frost-bitten sword carving into him, shearing deep into the soul he knew he didn't have but felt anyway. "What exactly is it you are trying to say?" Luc shuddered at the complete lack of warmth in her voice, not realizing how much he relied on her compassion until he was confronted with the total absence of it. And though he wished desperately that this had never happened, she deserved the truth - at least as much of the truth as he knew.

"I'll explain as much as I can, but I need to put it all in order in my own mind, so I beg your patience if I backtrack or stumble in my words." She nodded once, a condescension to an enemy, and he felt for the first time that they were honestly over, that he'd lost her. Still, he had to try and salvage at least a friendship. If that was all he could have, so be it. Closing his eyes briefly to gather himself, he started talking.

"I'd heard rumors. Everyone had. The immortal realms were in shock over the arrival of one of the Iele to the Celestial family. It had never before happened. As you're well aware, the factions tend to keep to themselves, and despite a few groups squabbling over followers, it's always been that way. But there she was, alone, begging sanctuary. Though I did not reside there, I was an assistant to Marchosias." He let out a self-deprecating laugh. "Assistant. More like glorified errand runner. I was only there by chance, and I didn't even witness her discussion. It was some five, six months later as humans judge that my 'employer' called me to him." Luc's voice drifted as he immersed himself in memories.

"He told me that he would soon have a job for me to do, and if I performed admirably that he would give me a position of power at his side. I would have my own armies to command, my own title and rewards, if I complied. The task didn't seem too onerous. Sometime in the future there would be a Celestial cast down. I was to locate the fallen one, take him or her under my 'protection', and earn their trust. Once they were completely within my power, I was to destroy them. He didn't much care how it happened, but he made sure to tell me that this being must be broken before I obliterated him or her. He said specifically that he wanted to watch the this holy one to fall to misery and despair before death. It sounded quite easy, considering that as a Hellbound I had no love of the Light, and the rewards were great. I accepted the charge without hesitation.

"When word got out as word will, that a child of Light had been cast from the higher realms, I dropped everything I'd been doing and sought this being out. Since I was recruited to kill this unknown one, I was expecting some horrid creature. Already the rumors were circulating that this was the spawn of Marchosias, but even those who knew of the Iele never seemed to connect the two - neither did I. All I knew was that I had one task to complete and then I would be risen to the highest ranks beneath the Unholy himself. And then I found you." He paused, refusing to look in her eyes.

"You were so lost, so unsure, and so not what I was expecting, I was certain I'd made a mistake at first. I went to Marchosias, who informed me that there had been no mistake. He told me then that I was supposed to seduce you with whatever means necessary, to break you and destroy you, and that he had every faith in my abilities. I didn't think anything of it at first."

"So all this time, you've been stringing me along and biding your time until you can destroy me, is that it?" Gone was the ice in her voice; now she was fire, a white-hot flame of anger and resentment and fury, and he shivered under the onslaught even as he tried to explain.

"No...well, yes, but not...I was supposed to do all that but I can't." He looked at her, pleading with his eyes as he hastened to speak, words tripping over each other as they fled his lips. "I know you won't believe me, I wouldn't believe me if I were you, but it's the truth. I could never hurt you now. Before it was different, before I knew you, before I..." He trailed off, his voice almost inaudible as he finished. "Before I learned to love you. I could never hurt you now."

"So you're passing up your promotion, your advancement, because you care for me. I haven't forgotten that you're a Hellbound. How do I know that you're telling me the truth now? How can I trust that this isn't all just some part of your plan? I mean, what better way to break me than to tell me the truth and have me believe a lie all in the same breath? Tell, me, Luc, why I should believe a word you say." She stared at him, a challenge in her eyes, but he was too worn to rise to it. He'd imagined that she would be upset, but feeling her rage, her fear and her pain rolling off of her was enough to conquer him thoroughly.

"You shouldn't. I've spent thousands of years lying to you, if only by omission. But I can't anymore, not now that you've begun to change."

"Oh, yes, about this change. What exactly do you know about all of this?"

"Your father is a shapeshifting demon; your mother was a protector of nature. And your spirit is drawn to a shifter that happens to have chosen a wolf as his alternate form. My assumption is that, whenever you slipped into his mind, it triggered the instincts that have lain dormant in your mind for so many centuries. I would guess that your shape, then, is indicative of both the blood in your veins and your subconscious choice of mate." Even as he spoke, even as his admittance that he was not her true mate burned his heart, he knew he had to be truthful. He owed her that much.

"Why do I have wings, then?" she asked, anger being deliberately pushed aside in favor of cordial discussion. He just shrugged.

"I have no idea. If we were still in contact with any of the Ancient Immortals, I would suggest you ask them. But as far as I know there are only two of them left that haven't willfully sacrificed their existence for peace, and I have no idea where either of them are." The silence that fell was full of negative emotions, so thick and viscous it felt as though they could be cut by a sword. Luc stayed on the floor for a while, pretending that it didn't cut him to the quick when she pulled her hands from his and stood.

"I am going to go away for a while. Do not attempt to follow me. For the sake of the charade we must play in this town we will need to remain living together, but I...I need time to myself. To think."

"I understand," he whispered. Without another word passing between them, she turned and walked out the front door. And Luc, alone for the first time in longer than he cared to admit, stared at nothing, yet saw only the inside of his own fears.

* * *

Bella stretched and rubbed her eyes, noting absently that her cool, comfy pillow was absent. The reason for the absence became apparent, however, when he stepped into the bedroom with a tray laden with what she assumed to be breakfast.

"I see you're awake," he said, setting the tray on the bed beside her. A quick look showed nothing, however, as the entire tray was covered with a fine linen cloth.

"You weren't in bed when I woke up, but then I smelled food," she said with a smile. He waved her away for her human moment and by the time she came out of the bathroom, clad only in a pair of deep green panties, her hair tied back in a careless ponytail, he had made the bed and plumped the pillows. Reaching out, he caught her around the waist and pulled her to him, his lips teasing over hers as he deepened the kiss. One hand stroked down the length of her spine to rest on the curve of her hip and she moaned appreciatively. Before she could press the issue, however, he released her - though not before taking a moment to graze his palms over her pebbled nipples. She just grinned, a Cheshire Cat expression, and ran her fingers over his bare chest. He shook his head lightly and stepped back with a bow.

"I thought this morning would be an excellent time to educate your taste buds," he began, motioning her to sit. Curious now, she did so, and once she was settled he whisked the cloth away to show a variety of dishes. Some, like the fruit compote, she recognized, but others were completely unknown and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Shush. I may not eat food anymore, but I still have a decent knowledge of taste." She laughed at the pompous look on his face, a look belied by the smile in his eyes.

"Well, then, m'lord, perhaps you should introduce me to these culinary delights." Carlisle's eyebrow arched in an imitation of her earlier expression, but he let it slide.

"Very well. We'll start with what's familiar...or at least more known than some of the other food." He reached to the tray and handed her a small bowl of granola with what looked like a fruit spread drizzled over the top. "First, can you tell me what it is made of?" She sniffed it, picking out the aroma of blueberries and raspberries, but she couldn't place the other fruit.

"It looks like regular granola with a fruit spread. I see blueberries and raspberries, but what's the other one?"

"Taste it. Tell me what you think." Holding his gaze, she scooped a bit up with the spoon and placed it in her mouth. Immediately the flavor exploded on her tongue and she moaned softly under her breath. She chewed and swallowed.

"That was delicious! But I still don't know what the other fruit is." This time Carlisle picked up the spoon and held it to her lips.

"Try again. This time, don't be so quick to actually eat it. Just let the fruit sauce sit on your tongue for a moment. Savor it." Bella followed his instructions, letting the taste of the granola fade behind the potent flavor of the sauce. The tang of the raspberries was heady, and the smooth bite of the blueberries made her tongue want to dance happily.

"Try to shut out the other flavors. Concentrate on that single taste you don't know." Carlisle was watching her with a discerning eye, and Bella thought absently that this was probably one of the strangest breakfast experiences she'd ever had, but she attempted to do what he suggested. It took a little bit, but she thought she was getting the hang of it. Still, it tasted so good she just had to finish the bite. After she swallowed she smiled ruefully at the vampire next to her.

"Sorry. It's just yummy. Let me try again - I think I have the hang of it." Once more he lifted a spoonful to her lips. This time she was ready for the flavor, and it took her only a second to sort out what she was tasting. The familiarity of the unknown flavor was extreme, but she was still having a hard time placing it. Watching his eyes, she tried to focus but it wasn't until he blinked reflexively that she thought to close her eyes. Without the outside distractions - namely her damnably gorgeous lover's smirk - she nearly gasped as the answer came to her. Swallowing quickly, she opened her eyes.

"Mango!" she said triumphantly, and grinned when he nodded, pleased.

"Very good. You see, the human body is remarkable. Every taste, scent, sensation you have ever known is stored in your subconscious. The trick is learning how to bring those recollections forward. When it comes to food and drink, even if the dish is something you have never had, as long as you can isolate the flavors you'll know exactly what it is you are eating. It's a skill not many have, because even most people who eat for pleasure don't truly understand the power of the mind." By the time he was done speaking she'd polished off the last bit of granola and had swiped her finger through the juice in the bowl, licking it clean. She was still hungry, though, as the bowl hadn't even been half full, and was eyeing the other food on the tray hungrily. Carlisle noticed and smiled. "Let's see how well you do with the next one." With a grin, he handed her a shallow bowl of some creamy custard-like substance. She didn't have to be told this time, simply taking a spoonful of the pudding and letting the different flavors seep into her taste buds. After a moment she swallowed and spoke.

"Vanilla yogurt with apple and cinnamon," she stated with certainty. He nodded at her.

"Very good. Go ahead and eat the fruit compote, then have a drink to rinse the fruit taste out." She did so with alacrity, realizing his wisdom in making small portions. By themselves the dishes would never have been filling, but she had the impression that she would be quite full and satisfied when she worked her way through everything on the tray. When she'd finished her drink, she placed the glass back on the tray.

"Next?" she asked cheerfully. The remainder of the morning was spent with her learning a variety of things about food. Later she would laugh at the irony of being taught about edible dishes by a man who hadn't eaten food in centuries, but as she'd suspected, she was completely full and very satiated by the time she'd worked her way through the entire tray. With a grin he stood up and headed towards the door.

"Rest up for a little while, love, and let your breakfast digest. I have plans for later." And with that he was out the door and she was left with a happy tummy and a healthy sense of anticipation. Whatever he had planned, she knew it would be interesting. Carlisle wasn't the type to do things half-heartedly.

* * *

No matter how often he came to the cliffs to stare at the roiling waves beneath, it always calmed him, enthralled him. Jake was watching the play of muted sunlight over the rippling water, completely relaxed, and tried to contemplate the unusual experiences he'd been having lately. They all started with the girl, he knew, and he was suddenly struck by the desire to try and track her down. He wanted to know - needed to know who she was, why she was around. Why she had such a profound effect on him. He'd been slightly shocked to realize that he hadn't thought of Bella in a week. Normally it was difficult to go a day without her grin, her soft brown eyes flashing thought his mind, but as of late the only eyes in his mind belonged to the slender platinum-haired girl who'd been haunting him so. In a spur of the moment decision Jake stood and brushed the seat of his shorts to dislodge the twigs and damp dirt clinging to him, then turned from the cliff's edge and headed towards town. He missed Bella, and figured since Charlie was going to be working today he'd drop by her house and hang out for a bit. Maybe he'd be able to see things more objectively if he talked with her for a while. He made it to her home in quick time, and was surprised to find it empty. A flash of insight clued him in to the fact that she was likely at the Cullen's place. His nose wrinkled involuntarily. ~Damn it. I really wanted to talk to her.~ He sat on the porch for a moment, weighing his options.

~Well, I can head back home and see if I can work on the car.~

_Yeah, right, you can't concentrate long enough to change a damn tire. _

~Well, I could always run by the Cullen's really quick, see if she might be outside.~

_Oh, and I'm sure the bloodsuckers would love that._

~Well, it's not like I'd be walking up to their door or anything. Just jogging past. And if she's not outside, then I'll go home.~ His argumentative inner voice seemed to realize a battle lost when it heard one, and thus with his mind united he set off at an easy lope around the outskirts of town and headed towards the home of his enemies in search of his friend.

It didn't take him very long to get to their land, and he crossed onto their property with a bit of trepidation that he determinedly quashed. ~Just a quick look around the yard,~ he though, and keeping himself far enough away that they wouldn't see him as a threat (hopefully), he circled the huge house and headed to the back. It seemed quiet and peaceful, and he wondered exactly what was going on inside. From the few other times he'd had reason to come past, he recalled it being a bit more...alive...than this. There wasn't even any conversation to be heard. ~Odd. Maybe they're all out. Wait, what's that?~ He moved a little closer to the kitchen window, watching in curious silence as the doctor loaded small bowls and saucers and glasses onto a large tray. The vampire covered it with some sort of towel-looking thing and, picking it up effortlessly, disappeared from the kitchen. Jake's curiosity was completely piqued, but he had no idea what the layout of the house was. ~Maybe if I'm quiet I can hear something,~ he thought, and sure enough the sound of a female voice tickled his sensitive ears. In an impulsive move he would later question, he bounded to the house and, shimmying silently up a tree, peered into the open window...and found himself completely stunned as Bella - HIS Bella - stepped into the room wearing nothing but a wisp of green lace and a grin, and was promptly pulled into a heated embrace by her boyfriend's father. Completely flabbergasted, all Jake could do was hold on for dear life and stare.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: YAY! I managed to post another chapter without a months-long wait! Go me! *happy dance*

* * *

She was so lost, so confused. So hurt. ~How could he have kept this from me all these years?~ As she walked aimlessly through the woods, she kept running the conversation through her head. The betrayal she felt was so acute it was as though her very soul had been flayed to ribbons, and she was at a loss for what to think, what to do, how to proceed. ~I loved him!~ she cried to herself. After a brief moment of pause, she contemplated that statement. ~Loved? Or love still?~ She stopped walking and darted into the upper branches of a tree, curling up with her thoughts.

~I do love him still. How could I not? But this...this...I can't forgive this. I just...I have to...~ Crystalline tears chased one another down her windswept cheeks, mixing with the occasional raindrop that filtered its way through the leaves above. For the first time in longer than humans could measure, she bowed her head onto her knees and begged.

~Please...I know I wasn't good enough for Your presence, but...what did I do to deserve this?~ She scoffed a bit at how...mortal...she sounded, but her silent plea continued. ~I cannot claim to know Your mind or Your plan, but I just don't understand. I suppose I am not meant to. I would never presume. But it hurts so much. If You and Your company truly had any notion of the pain and suffering that can be felt...would You still continue? Or would You think over Your plans, Your grand ideals? Perhaps find another way to do things?~ With a sob that wracked her slender form she gave in to her despair. ~Just tell me what I am suposed to do! Or if you truly no longer care what happens to me, let me know that! I can't keep this up! Ages upon ages and all I have left are a demon lordling that claims to love me even as he betrays me, a burning obsession for a human shifter that doesn't know who I am, and a war that only I can stop! WHAT DO I DO NOW?~ She wailed her cry to the uncaring heavens, completely unsurprised that there was no answer...and hurt all the same. ~We are all supposed to be His beloved children,~ she scoffed silently. ~All but me, I guess.~ Sitting there, soaked by the tears of her pain and the tears of the sky, she leaned wearily back to rest her head against the tree trunk. ~All I ask is one sign. Just one little glimmer that I am not forsaken. That You still love me.~ Eyes clsoed, she listened to the wind in the trees, her sadness slipping slowly into despair. She could have cared less how long she stayed there. The world could have crumbled and she likely wouldn't have noticed. Her world had already crumbled. That was all she knew. So it was with no small amount of shock that the soft whisper of silent footsteps beneath her caught her attention. So disjointed were her thoughts, however, that it took the thread of scent wafting up to her to snap her back to the present, and the fact that her shifter - he was hers, whether he knew it or not - was padding softly beneath her like a man on a mission. Making a conscious effort to snap out of her melancholy, she decided to follow him. Anything was better than wallowing in self-pity.

* * *

The quiet was soothing, really. For the first time in a while he'd stepped apart from the other not to brood or feel sorry for himself, but to think about the strange turns and twists his life had taken lately. The hunt was quite successful, and though he'd been invited to join in the after-meal romp ('C'mon, Ed,' Emmett had said. 'You've finally unwound enough to enjoy yourself!' Rose and Esme had enthusiastically agreed) he simply smiled and assured them he was fine.

"I just want to think about a few things," he'd said, and laughed at the chargin in their faces.

"You're not gonna go all emo bitch-boy again, are you?" Rose asked wryly. Even Edward laughed along. Shaking his head, he replied with a smile.

"No, not at all. I just...I have a few things in my head I need to straighten out. Nothing bad, I promise." And so he'd walked a distance away and sat down, leaning back against a moss-covered rock and closing his eyes. He could feel the sunlight filtering through the foliage, feel the warmth it left as it dappled his skin with diurnal kisses.

~Who would have thought I'd be here?~ he mused. ~Everything I thought I knew about myself...who could have forseen it? Well, except Alice, of course.~ A quiet chuckle escaped his lips. ~And Bella. I can't imagine my life without her...don't even want to. But if someone had told me that I'd be content - happy, even - with the situation, I'd have laughed.~ He reflected on the recent changes he'd gone through lately, noticing with a bit of pride that when it came to it, he loved Bella enough to trust her. And in doing so, he learned to trust himself.

~For a damned creature who doesn't change, I think this has been a good thing.~ Even the thought - that he was damned eternally - didn't have quite the sting it once did. ~Maybe it's because even though I'm damned, I won't be alone. I can handle anything as long as I have Bella with me.~ Content for the first time in who knew how long, he settled down and, stretching his legs out, let his worries and concerns drain away, pushed out by the confidence and the rightness and the overwhelming love he felt for Bella. Even the strangeness of his family seeming to block their thoughts from him didn't seem to be anything to concern huimself with. It was something to make him curious, but to his pleasure he found he wasn't overly bothered. The world was a good place. And he was just content to be a part of it.

* * *

It had taken him less than five minutes to wash all of the breakfast dishes, even though he was attempting to do things slowly. His heart was heavy as he set the last plate in place. ~Should I tell her?~ he wondered to himself. Carlisle was usually of the mind that a person had a right to know anything concerning themselves, but he also knew the relationshio between Bella and Jacob was unsteady at the moment. As such, he wasn't sure how he should proceed. Shoukld he tell her that Jake had been in the tree outside the window, that he had likely seen their embrace and had definitely gotten an eyeful of her nearly naked, or keep it to himself and act surprised when it all came out? That it would come out he had no doubt. The elder vampire knew how impulsive the younger man was, and how easily Bella could be hurt by accusations. She was comfortable with herself now - she'd come such a long way and he couldn't help the proud smile that crossed his face - but a confrontation between her and her friend could easily shatter the fragile confidence she'd been building lately. Still...he couldn't say nothing. Sighing unnecessarily, he braced himself for the unhappy task of imparting news that would surely ruin her morning.

Worry coating his mind, he approached her door, but the sounds of running water and her voice, slightly muted, let him know she was showering and wouldn't hear him knock. He let himslf in and vaulted effortlesly to the upper level, sitting quietly on her bed and waiting for her to come out. It was with some shock he realized he could still smell the werewolf, and he turned his eyes to the window. Sure enough, perched in the tree like an overgrown bird, sat Jacob. The younger wore an expression of confusion, shock, and a myriad other emotions not even he understood, and was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the Cullen patriarch step closer. It wasn't until Carlisle placed his hands on the window sash that Jacob looked up and his expression flashed instantly to anger, shame, and determination.

"Good morning, Jacob," Carlisle began neutrally, unsure exactly how to handle this situation. His calm statement seemed to confuse not just himself but his unexpected guest as well, and it was a moment before the younger man sopke.

"What the hell is going on here?" he rasped, voice shaking with suppressed emotions. Acting on instinct, Carlisle stepped back from the window and with a motion invited the other inside. In the time it took for one thought (~Bella is going to kill me~) to flit through his mind Jacob had vaulted easily into the room and was standing before him. Face to face, he eyed the vampire warily.

"You didn't answert my question," he snapped.

"I know," said Carlisle softly. "I'm not exactly sure how to, you see..."

"How to what?" The bathroom door opened to emit a cloud of steam and a damp Bella, a towel wrapped around her head as she dried herself carelessly with another one. The strangled groan that met her appearance, however, captured her full attention and as soon as her mind caught up to her eyes she let out an ear-piercing shriek and darted back into the bathroom, slamming the door.

~CARLISLE CULLEN, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?~ Her mental bellow had him dropping to his knees and grasping his head. But she matched the mind tone decible for decible with the screaming she was doing from safely behind the closed door.

"JAKE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE! CARLISLE, WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD...I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH! NO ONE WILL EVER FIND THE BODIES!" Carlisle looked up, climbing to his feet to see his own startled expression mirrored on the younger man's face.

"Bella's got a temper," he said, the inane statement slipping out without regard to his usual eloquence. To his shock, Jacob considered that for a few seconds, glancing at the door behind which various obscenities were still flooding like water from a broken dam. He looked back at Carlisle and a wry smile curved his lips.

"You don't have to tell me that," he said. A bit of awkward silence descended between Bella's shouts and the crashing from the bathrom as she - Carlisle assumed - tried to get presentable as quickly as possible. What posessed him to do it, he would forever wonder.

"So, Jake, can I get you something to drink?" In the same state of amused shock, the werewolf nodded and followed the older man out of the room and into the kitchen, leaving the still-ranting woman inside the bathroom to scream at an empty room.

* * *

As strange as it was to admit, he really had nio idea what to do next. Sitting in front of the computer, he found himself not even able to muster the interest to float around on the World Wide Web. Instead he just stared at the screen. He knew she was going to be hurt. He knew she was never going to forgive him. But knowing and experiencing were two different things entirely - a distinction he thought he'd understood before, but realized now he had never truly grasped at all.

What hurt him the most was that which wasn't his fault. He could understand, even welcome the pain from wounding her as he had. That he deserved. No, what cut the deepest was the realization that even though he knew he wasn't worthy of her, perhaps never had been, that she had found her true mate. This young shifter, the one she was so fascinated with...even Luc could feel their spirits entwining. And that was pain like he'd never known. Sure, he'd accepted it would happen eventually, but nothing could have prepared him for that searing, burning agony of knowing that he would once more be alone. ~At least Lili won't be,~ he thought. ~She'll be happy. And that is something I could never have completely done.~ Sighing, he gave up his silent vigil on the desk chair and headed outside. He had no idea where he was wandering, and furthermore couldn't be pressed to care.

The everpresent drizzle matched his mood exactly, he thought, as though the heavens themselves were weeping the pain his eyes would never release. He walked slowly, tilting his face up into the rain and letting it soothe his eyelids, his cheeks. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice his surroundings, where he was, or the fact that his steps had unconsciously taken him right past a house he'd been in once before. In fact, he was so absorbed internally that her voice shocked him to a complete stop.

"So you do come out in daylight." The soft, hesitant words were nonetheless delivered with a bit of wry humor, and his eyes snapped open to see her standoing in the porch. Unsure of what to do, still reeeling from his interaction with Lili, he could only stand still as she walked down the steps towards him.

"I realize we've never been introduced," she said, eyes shy but meeting his own. "Hello. I'm Jessica. Jess." He watched in a bit of a daze as she extended one slim hand towards him. Reflex had him grasping it in his much larger one and reciprocating.

"Hello, Jess. I'm Luc." Her grip was sure and firmer than he expected, but it was her smile that took his breath away. Still nervous, it was filled with warmth that wrapped around his beaten psyche like a cashmere blanket. They stood there like that for a few moments, neither one knowing what to do or say next. Finally, he saw her swallow and nod to herself.

"It's a bit damp out here," she said, causing his eyebrow to lift. She chuckled. "Okay, it's downright wet. Would you care to join me for a cup of coffee at the diner?" Her boldness surprised him, and he blinked a few times. Apprently interpreting his lack of agreement as a denial, she stepped back a bit. "I'm sorry, you don't have to. I just thought...I mean..." Luc was enchanted by the way her face turned a delicate pink as she stammered. He would forever wonder if maybe something bigger wasn't in play when he opened his mouth to decline her kind offer.

"I'd love to." He was stunned at the words he spoke, as they were nothing like he had intended, but at the same time he had to admit there was nothing he wanted to do more. Her blush deepened, but so did her smile.

"Awesome! Today's blueberry pie day too. I'm starving!" And, bemused and curious, he allowed himself to follow the young lady that had succeeded in bewitching him so. It wasn't until much later that he would wonder how easily she managed to dispel the cloud of anguish he'd been wrapped in, replacing it with something that seemed a lot like sunlight.


	4. Chapter 4

~Carlisle Cullen, you'd better have a damned good explanation!~ she shouted at him mentally, feeling him cringe at the venom in her tone. Standing in the bathroom she was attempting to dry off and get dressed simultaneously, a concept that was taxing her still-developing coordination, and she was sure they could hear the thumps and snarls as she slammed her hip into the sink while struggling to pull her clothes on, the clatter as the sleeves of her shirt caught on the hairbrush and sent it spinning off the countertop and across the floor. By the time she was fully dressed she was also fully angry, and completely mortified. What on earth was Jake doing in her bedroom? However would she explain this? ~He's going to hate me,~ she mused sadly, the thought of losing her friend cutting into the fury and embarrassment. Finally, after standing and listening for a moment, confused at the total silence outside her door, she cautiously opened it and peeked around the frame to see...an empty bedroom?

~Carlisle?~ she thought quietly.

~In the kitchen, love,~ he replied, and she was further baffled by the lack of strain in his statement. Stepping out into the room, she paused long enough to put on a pair of slippers and hesitantly made her way downstairs and out into the main house. It was when she got to the kitchen that she stopped short, completely stunned.

Sitting at the kitchen table with a full plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and hash browns, was Jake, shoveling food into his mouth and laughing at something Carlisle had just said. The surreal scene had her frozen, and though in the back of her head she knew they both knew she was there, they finished their conversation before turning to her.

"Morning, Bells," Jake managed, swallowing a few mouthfuls of orange juice to clear his throat before continuing. "Sorry for dropping in like this." Weakly, she sat down at the table across from him, too confused to even be surprised when Carlisle sat down next to her and kissed her hair. Apparently her expression was enough to set her friend off into a rich laugh, leaving her staring dumbfounded.

"You look like you're terrified I'm going to bite you or something," he chuckled as he ate, polishing off an enormous breakfast in what she dimly thought should be some sort of record time. "Seriously, Bells, you should see the look on your face." Mutely she turned to Carlisle, looking at him with wide eyes as he stood up.

"He's right, love. You do have a bit of a deer-in-the-headlights look to you." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "Now, you two catch up. I'm going to go hunt and leave you to your talk."

"But-" she began, never finishing as he was out the door before she could formulate her thoughts. The clink of Jake's fork as he set it down on the empty plate had her turning back to him. She searched his eyes silently for a bit, still too off-balance to speak, and saw beneath the mirth and acceptance a small, minute hint of pain. Suddenly the words began to tumble out.

"Jake, this isn't what - I mean, it is, but...it's not how I wanted...I mean, god, you must be so..." He pushed the plate away and reached out to take her hand.

"Bella, calm down." With a sigh he turned to her. "I will admit I'm a little hurt and confused, but after talking with Dr. Cullen I can understand a bit more. I'd still like to hear everything from you, though. And we can start with why you felt you had to keep it from me."

"I wasn't expecting you to be so...reasonable," she muttered.

"Would you rather I be pissed? I can do that." The growl underscoring his words made it all too clear that he wasn't as relaxed as he sounded, and Bella felt oddly more comfortable with that. Standing long enough to pour herself a glass of orange juice, she sat back down at the table.

"How much did Carlisle tell you?" she asked.

"Not much, actually. Just that they have a rather...open...family life and that circumstances brought you into it. He did make it clear that it was all by your own choice, that there no one pushed you." Here he paused, and looked at her with a grin. "And that if I upset you or made you feel bad over this, or broke off our friendship over something as trivial as whom you choose to be with, that any pain I made you feel would be visited back upon me tenfold." Bella just blinked at him.

"Didn't think you were scared of vampires," she couldn't resist snarking. "Just thought you hated them all." He shook his head emphatically.

"I'm not scared of most vampires. But Dr Cullen? That is one hella powerful bloodsucker. I don't want to get on his bad side." He snorted. "Besides, I don't hate them all. I hate Edward 'cause he came between us. The rest just annoy me."

"The feeling's mutual," she said with a chuckle. They sat quietly for a moment, and Bella realized something that had been tickling her mind.

"What were you doing in my bedroom?" Jake's eyes widened and he stammered a bit.

"I...um...your bedroom?" She nodded. "You have your own bedroom." It wasn't a question, but she responded anyway.

"Yes. They built it on for me as a surprise, so I'd have a place of my own if I wanted it."

"They care for you, then." Again, not a question, but she nodded anyway. "And you for them." Another nod. "And you're happy with the situation?"

"More than I ever thought I could be," she said, honesty ringing in her voice. She braced herself for the inevitable explosion, the flash of temper she knew her friend was sure to be feeling as he searched her eyes for the truth.

"Okay." He leaned back casually, manner composed and relaxed. Bella just stared at him.

"Who are you and what have you done with Jacob?" she mused.

"What do you mean?"

"Three weeks ago, you would have exploded and vowed vengeance on anything without a pulse for taking advantage of me."

"Did they?"

"Not at all." She thought back to how it all started, and a grin bounced across her face. "If anything, I was the one taking advantage."

"Then I'm okay with it."

"Really?" He met her skeptical look with one of resignation.

"Fine. Not entirely. And I sure as hell don't want details." He forced a shudder, making her giggle. "But it's obvious to everyone who's seen you that your happier than you've ever been. You're more confident, more grounded...it's like you're coming into your own for the first time. So since this...arrangement...is obviously doing you well, I'm not enough of an ass to argue." She lunged forward and caught him in a huge hug, relief making her almost giddy.

"Thank you, Jake! Oh god, I was so scared that..." He noticed her eyes going a bit glassy, but no tears fell as she spoke. "...that I was going to lose my friend. I couldn't stand that thought." He laughed ruefully.

"You'll have to work harder than that to get rid of me, Bells," he joked, but then his countenance turned serious. "I will say this, though; if they ever hurt you - any of them - they'll have to answer to me. And I won't mind tearing them apart." The gleam in his eyes made her very certain he was telling the truth, and she was both a bit worried and completely humbled. She gave him another hug before standing up.

"Want seconds?" she asked, gesturing to wards the stove. Apparently Carlisle had made enough for a small army...or one werewolf. Jake nodded happily and Bella set about piling more food on his plate. By the time she'd turned back to the table and set the plate down, she noticed that her friend looked pensive.

"Okay, what's up?" she said as she dropped back into her chair.

With what?" he asked, his voice nonchalant but his expression calling out the lie. She just rolled her eyes.

"You came to the Cullen's house. Enemy territory. And I'm guessing it wasn't to admire the architecture. What did you want to talk to me about?" She leaned over and swiped a piece of toast from his plate - a move that would usually have him jokingly calling her a thief and threatening to bite her, but that was totally ignored as he stared into his orange juice.

"Well," he began, uncertainty in his tone. She stayed quiet, letting him speak in his own time. "A few days ago, maybe a week or so...I was working on my car and got this strange feeling. Like I was being watched." He absently ate another bite of breakfast. "I blew it off, but a few days later I left my notebook for class in the garage, so I ran home to get it and there was someone standing by my workbench."

"Someone? Who?" Bella was instantly curious. He shook his head.

"A girl. I don't know her. She looked startled to see me there, and took off. God, she was fast." He didn't seem aware of the admiration in his voice, but Bella caught it immediately. She chose to say nothing, however, instead letting him speak. "The funny thing was, she stole my flannel - you know, the one I keep in there in case I have to have a shirt for a quick run to town or whatever? Yeah, when she bolted she took it with her. Thing is, I could have sworn she was the one watching me before. And I know I've sensed her nearby since then. Out of the blue a couple days ago the shirt came back. It was just sitting on the bench, folded." He paused and Bella could tell there was something he wasn't saying, but she let it pass. "I ran outside immediately because I could still pick up her scent, but it disappeared once it hit the treeline. It was raining pretty hard, and was getting dark. But I could have sworn I saw..." He seemed almost embarrassed, and very confused, and Bella's heart went out to him.

"Saw what, Jake?" He stayed quiet, and she reached over and placed her hand over his. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me. But I'd like to know." He looked up into her eyes then and she was taken aback by the chaotic swirl of emotions in his dark brown depths.

"I know it's not possible, but I saw a white wolf. With wings. And I think it was her. I know it was."

"Another pack, maybe?" Bella ventured a guess. He shook his head.

"There aren't any neighboring packs that I know of. And none of the others I've even heard legends of have wings."

"You said it was dark and raining. Is it possible it was a trick of the light?" Before she was even finished speaking he was shaking his head.

"I know what I saw. She was pure white, gleaming...graceful...and winged." He sighed. "She was beautiful. As a human, as a wolf...I don't know, Bella. She's haunted my thoughts since that first day I saw her. In fact, I..." he broke off and Bella was shocked to see a pink tinge creep over his bronze skin.

"You..?" she cajoled, wondering what on earth could have the usually unflappable Jacob blushing - for blushing it was, no matter that it was barely visible.

"I felt...well, I felt like I was being...I dunno, unfaithful to you or something. I mean," he turned fully towards her, eyes gleaming. "Bella, you have to have noticed how I felt for you. How I've felt for years. I always thought, since we were little...well, that we were meant to be together. When Charlie announced you were coming back, I could have danced, I was so happy." He took a deep breath, then another. "But this girl...it almost seems like she's - well, not really taken your place, but that she's got a place of her own in my mind. I just can't get her out of my thoughts. It's driving me to distraction. I can't concentrate, can't think. The pack is giving me shit. My dad knows there's been a stranger around and all but ordered me to find her - hell, he did order me. And her scent, it's..." Suddenly he trailed off, realizing exactly what he'd been babbling, and Bella was treated to the sight of the handsome young man turning almost beet red. She sat there hiding her grin while he stammered and stuttered. Finally, though, she took pity on him.

"So this girl is haunting you. Do you know her name? Have you spoken to her?" He shook his head.

"She's darted off every time I've seen her. And she's only ever there when it's raining hard, almost as though she knows I can't track her through it. It's the weirdest thing, and I can't stop thinking about her." Bella sat back in her char and just watched her friend for a bit, realizing there was more to his thoughts than he was comfortable sharing, and totally okay with that. Usually she'd have pressed until she got everything from him, but something told her this was a different matter.

"Well, it seems to me that we need to find this mystery girl of yours and introduce you two."

"Do you think so?" he asked, all his usual confidence gone and replaced by hesitation. She smiled and pulled him into a friendly embrace.

"I'm sure. No, I'm positive. We'll figure this out for you. After all - we're friends, right? And what are friends for?" His returning smile was absolutely radiant.

* * *

Author's note: I usually have multiple scenes in one chapter, but this one...well, it seemed only right to devote some time to Bella and Jake, let them heal their friendship a bit and find some even footing. They're going to need it later, I think, and I just couldn't imagine tacking anything else on to this. Never fear, though - more will be coming. :-D


	5. Chapter 5

~Maybe this is all some sort of odd human ritual,~ Lili thought as she watched, crouched in the underbrush, while her shifter climbed in through the upper window of the impressive house. Knowing she couldn't get too close for risk that he would catch her scent, she decided to phase into her incorporeal form and glide closer, and was shocked at how difficult it was. Never before had she ever had problems shifting between physical and ethereal, but this time it was a wrenching, a burning, a pain she'd never known. Eventually, however, she was one with the air, the mist, and - ignoring the unusual circumstances - headed towards the huge building. She traversed around the perimeter at first before following the sound of her shifter's voice to the airy kitchen. From her vantage point and assisted by the fact that she wasn't visible - a state that she was finding difficult to maintain, but was refusing to give up - she watched as the young man sat at the table with a graceful movement. But it was the stunning immortal at the stove that had her absolutely speechless. ~Vampires? Here? Oh, no...this could be bad...~ She drifted a bit to get a better view, and watched in worried confusion as the two spoke together. ~I thought they were enemies!~ Her thoughts were roiling as she observed them, noticing the small hints of tension under the polite veneer. ~Hmmm. Looks like everything isn't as calm as it seems.~

Staying where she was, she fell easily into the role of observer. It was obvious that there was tension between the two, but it was equally plain that it was less a personal and more a circumstantial rift. Seeing the elder immortal cooking, hearing his calm voice as he spoke to the younger man, Lili got the impression that if things were different he might have taken the shifter under his wing. There was a cordiality there that spread beyond anything she'd ever seen in any other vampire. Usually they were polite only to further their own ends, but this one seemed different. By this point she'd stopped listening to the subject of their conversations and concentrated mostly on remaining incorporeal and allowing their voices to wash over her. She was, therefore, a bit surprised when the elder's tone changed, going from warm and calm to a dark sound so menacing that - had she been physical - she would have shivered. The shifter ~Jake~ did shudder visibly, his eyes snapping up to meet the vampire's gaze, his bearing suddenly contrite and apologetic. Lili would go so far as to say it was nearly fearful, but so tinged with respect as to make the distinction difficult to determine. In the next moment, though, the golden-haired one smiled at his guest and sat down beside him. She watched as he reached up to put his hand on the other's shoulder in a comforting gesture, and saw with relief that Jake relaxed visibly. She'd been so certain something vicious was transpiring, and the thought of anything happening to her shifter...

Just then, the vampire rose to fiddle with the pan on the stove, and Lili saw both of them make an obvious effort to remain chatting, Jake laughing at something that was said. She wondered at the pretense, until she saw the young woman walk into the room. Watching the scene unfold, she was amazed at how much jealousy she could still feel even in her current state as it was obvious that this newcomer was the center of all attention. The way Jake looked up at her was nothing short of adoring, and Lili felt something like pain where her heart would have been if she had one at the moment. ~I should have known. Of course he has someone.~ With growing sadness she looked on as the girl, seemingly surprised at something, sat down at the table as well. What became truly confusing, however, was the way the vampire gravitated to her, going to far as to show affection and kiss her openly. ~What on earth? Since when does a vampire show affection to his dinner?~ Feeling very much as though she had no idea what was going on, she could only gaze on as the vampire departed, leaving the girl in the room alone with Jake. Not able to concentrate enough to make out their conversation - the strain of holding herself in her current form was truly taxing now - she could do nothing but watch as the girl flung herself into the very obviously willing arms of the shifter. Her control at its end, Lili could do nothing but flee, and hope she could get to the safety of the treeline before she was forced back to her physical form.

The instant she was in the shadows beneath the spreading branches her hard-fought control snapped and she dropped to the ground, coalescing into her human shape and curling into a ball. The sobs that wracked her were drawn from deep within the soul she thought she'd lost, draining her and drawing the pain she felt to the surface where it boiled over. Tears spilling from her wshining eyes, she burrowed deep into the needles and damp earth beneath a low-hanging pine tree and cried.

* * *

Jess sat sheepishly at the table, turning apologetic eyes to the handsome man across from her.

"I'm sorry - I forget how we react to new people here. It's not often someone comes to visit this dinky hole-in-the-wall town." She took a deep breath, but he forestalled her comment with a negligent wave of his hand.

"It's fine, Jess," he said casually. "I understand my sister and I are going to be a bit of a curiosity. I'm happy to talk to people." His grin had her speechless, so she took a moment to sip her hot chocolate and compose herself.

"You're being very understanding," she murmured, totally uncomfortable with the amount of attention their little table was getting. The surreptitious stares were bad enough - she'd have almost prefer the townsfolk gawk openly than to watch their attempts at subtlety - but that she could have ignored. The rest, however...

"Well, here you go. Blueberry pancakes for you, Jess, with maple syrup, scrambled eggs, and rye toast." The waitress' voice was perky and bright and bubbling...and it was setting Jess' teeth on edge, especially when the girl turned to Luc. "And for you, sir, blueberry pancakes as well, with our special homemade whipped topping. I made it myself, just this morning," she said, flashing a flirtatious smile at wanted to slap her. "And here's your eggs - over easy to perfection, if I do say so myself - and your bacon. We only carry the best honey-cured smoked bacon."

"It looks delicious," he said with a hidden grin. "Thank you." He turned to his food, but the waitress wasn't finished yet.

"So...um...is there anything else I can do for you? Anything at all?" The invitation in the young girl's eyes was anything but subtle, and Luc blinked in bemused shock. At that point Jess' hard-fought patience snapped.

"Marlie Ann Davis, what would your mother say if she knew you were throwing yourself at some random man you'd never met?" The curly-haired server flushed a bright red and flounced off, and Jess risked a glance back at her companion.

"Once more, sorry about that." To her shock he didn't seem bothered, but rather amused and slightly confused.

"It's no fault of yours. Though I do owe you my thanks."

"For what?" she asked, curious. He grinned and she told herself she was imagining her heart skipping a beat. It couldn't ave really done that.

"For your...diplomatic intervention on my behalf." Jess couldn't help herself. She laughed out loud.

"You're quite welcome. Honestly," she continued, drizzling syrup on her pancakes, "I have no idea what that girl was thinking. Her mother is one of the most highly religious and strict women in this town. You think Marlie'd have learned by now to not draw attention to her actions."

"Was she truly offering what she seemed to be?" he asked, reaching for his juice. Jess felt herself go cold.

"Yes," she replied cautiously. "Why, were you interested?" The reaction from the man across from her was nothing short of spectacular as he choked on his juice and spent the next few minutes coughing. He looked up at her, absolutely horrified.

"Powers that be, no!" he said, voice low but completely, emphatically sincere. "That is simply repulsive! She can't be more than seventeen, if that!" He shuddered with revulsion, and Jess felt the chill begin to dissipate.

"She's only sixteen, actually." she said, taking a bite of her food.

"Great Lord forfend," he muttered. "That's just disturbing." They ate in silence for a bit, Jess watching covertly as Luc lifted a forkful pf pancake to his lips. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she exhaled, and the sudden thought that she'd never before wished to be a fork shot through her mind. To her consternation, though, the thought brought with it a flush, and she hastily lowered her eyes to her own edibles.

"Something wrong?" he asked quietly, having noticed her abrupt movement. Jess shook her head, looking up to meet his gaze. ~He really has gorgeous eyes. Like a warm chocolate shot through with cherry swirls.~

"Jess?" he said, and she realized she'd gone from staring in silence at her breakfast to staring in silence at him. She cleared her throat and attempted to collect her thoughts.

"No, no...everything's fine. Great." She smiled, tamping down the images that were threatening to swamp her. ~What the hell? I've never been so turned on, and we have barely said anything. He hasn't touched me. What the hell?~ "So, what do you think? Of breakfast?" He sighed happily.

"You were right. The food is wonderful."

"I know, right? I love coming here. When I was little I thought this was heaven." She chuckled as he raised an eyebrow, a speculative smile on his face. "I thought that working here had to be the best job ever."

"Did you ever? Work here, I mean."

"No...I've pretty much concentrated on school. I'm - I mean, I've got...a lot going on right now." She was shocked at how easily the words almost came to light, at the thought that she almost blurted out her pregnancy to this man she didn't even really know. "Anyway," she said, rushing to cover her insecurity, "you should really try their dinners some night. Debby makes some of the absolute best chicken fried steak. It totally melts in your mouth."

"Sounds delightful," he murmured, and once more they fell into silence, each enjoying their breakfast in a comfortable quiet not even disturbed by the rattle of dishes or the sound of other conversations. However, sooner than Jess expected, she was mopping up the last of the maple syrup with her remaining bite of pancake. Sitting back in the chair, full and content, she saw a mirrored expression of satisfaction on Luc's features.

"Well..." she said, trailing off.

"Yes?"

"I was just wondering...if you had a chance to explore Forks yet?" He shook his head, and for a brief moment she was entranced with the way the light caught and caressed the long midnight strands of his hair. ~Snap out of it, Jess!~ she berated herself.

"No, actually, I haven't. My sister and I have only been here a few days, and since her schooling and my research are why we're here we spent the past couple of days settling into the house we're renting and buying a computer. I planned to take today to wander around, get a feel for the town."

"Would you care for a tour guide?" she asked, shocking herself both with the invitation and the extreme tingle she felt at the thought of spending more time with him. He smiled at her again and she felt her insides go squishy.

"I'd like that very much." At that point the waitress came back and, with a rather surly air, refilled their drinks. Jess looked up at the girl's face, feeling honest regret.

"Did you want dessert?" Marlie bit out. Not wanting to seem like a pig, Jess turned to Luc.

"Interested? They make wonderful pies and cobblers."

"Do you have strawberry cobbler?" he asked the girl, who nodded without speaking. "Very good. Two strawberry cobblers, then?" he stated, raising an eyebrow at Jess. She nodded happily.

"Extra whipped cream on mine, please," she said.

"Make that on both," he added. She sulked off, and Jess sighed a bit sadly.

"Now I feel bad. Marlie's a good girl, she just...she tries to hard to not be her mother's daughter, if that makes sense."

"Everyone has a bit of difficulty learning who they are. I'm sure she'll find herself." The rest of the meal was spent in general chatter, and Jess thought quietly that she'd never had a more wonderful morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: It's been a bit longer than I planned, and this is somewhat of a shorter chapter than I wanted, but my grandmother passed away about a week and a half ago, and while it was more of a blessing (she's been in a lot of pain since her stroke) nothing really prepares you for that loss. Needless to say, I got a little backed up with everything. But it's all settled now, and here's hoping that my mind follows suit. At any rate, here's a small filler-type chapter that will help to set up a few future events. Enjoy!

* * *

He knew there was something there, but he was confused. And Carlisle didn't appreciate confusion. Cautiously he approached, and was stunned to see a young girl - rather, what appeared to be a young girl - curled up under a pile of twigs and leaves and dirt just inside the edge of the forest. She was obviously not human, not even slightly, and yet she was something he had never seen before. And to top it all off she was crying as though her heart had broken. Not wanting to get too close without knowing what he was up against, he chose another tactic and deliberately stepped on a small branch. The wood snapped with a sound like a shot, and the creature looked up fearfully, eyes locking on him with a speed that was nowhere close to human.

"What do you want, bloodsucker?" she asked, her voice small and hoarse from crying but obviously not intimidated. He blinked in surprise.

"I could ask you the same. You are in my family's territory." He stood perfectly still while he spoke, waiting to see what her reaction would be. To his immense shock, she looked confused, then impressed and almost apologetic.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, standing. He got a good look at her for the first time and his mind stopped cold. ~It can't be...~ He noticed with some shock that she was still speaking.

" - so I'll take my leave." Before he could respond, or indeed even process what had just happened, she was gone. Even his immortal sight and hearing could pick up no trace of her anywhere near. Shaken both by his thoughts and her abrupt departure, he turned and walked slowly into the forest, his mind flying over possibilities and prophecies and questions while his feet took him aimlessly on.

* * *

"She is pregnant, yet she's taken to avoiding me. She's been hiding behind the vampires, but I don't believe she knows what they are." He lowered his gaze once more, knowing that this was not what the other wanted to hear.

"I am disappointed. You assured me she would succumb to you, that you would bring her before me broken and passive. If I find that you have lied to me..."

"No, I can do it. She thinks she loves me. I just need a bit more time to break her free of the bloodsuckers' influence and bring her to you." He cringed inwardly at his own fear, but the man (creature) before him demanded no less than total obedience. The promised rewards, however...

"You shall have your time, but know that neither it nor my patience is without limit. Go."

"Yes, sir," Mike whispered, rising to his feet slowly. He'd hoped for another jolt of the power his liege had occasionally seen fit to bestow him with, but as of late he knew he'd been a disappointment, so instead of dithering he simply left the one-room building. As he began the hike back to town, he thought idly that it was a good thing he'd stocked up on his "supplies". The drugs were a poor substitute for the raw energy he was so addicted to, but it would tide him over. Until he brought Jess to heel and regained his position of trust, he would simply have to make do.

* * *

Angela lay on her bed, the book she'd been attempting to read open and neglected beside her. There was so much running through her mind. Jess' situation, Bella's situation...and the feeling that something very big and very wrong was looming on the horizon. Placing the book on her nightstand with a sigh, she rolled over and lay her head on her arm. ~How did everything get so weird so quickly?~ She wished, not for the first time, that her grandmother was still alive. Her father's mother had been the only one to trust little Angie's "strange feelings" when the girl was growing up, assuring her that it was okay to listen to her instincts. "Not many people have the knowledge that you do, Little One," she would often say. "So they won't be able to understand what you feel. Doesn't make it wrong. Just makes it special." And then she would give her a cookie and glass of milk and a hug, and Angela would feel better.

~Wonder what Gram would make of all this?~ she thought absently. ~She'd probably tell me to listen to what my mind was saying.~ Missing the old woman more than she had in a long time, the brunette closed her eyes and tried to focus like she'd been taught. The thoughts and worries and everything swirled around like so much dust in a tornado, a veritable storm raging within her mind, but eventually she felt the beginnings of a calmness creep over her. Slowly, ever so slowly, her frantic mind settled and she was able to begin looking at things with a rationality she'd been missing of late.

~So Jess told Bella, and the Cullens have stepped forward to help out. That's one good thing. I wouldn't want to mess with any of them. They're beautiful, but I get the feeling they're more dangerous than anything else in this little town.~ Angela knew that the entire "back to school party" thing was mostly a diversion and a way for the Cullens to keep an eye on Jess. The thought made her happy. She'd have to call Eric and find out exactly who he was putting on his list. At least they wouldn't have to worry about Mike.

That was her biggest worry. She'd watched the happy-go-lucky goofball she'd known since childhood turn into something else, something bad. ~Gram would say there's a darkness in him now,~ she mused, knowing that something about the words rang true in her head. ~And whatever it is, it's focused on Jess. That's disturbing. And I get the feeling it has something to do with the baby.~ She still was having a bit of a mental freakout that her best friend was in such circumstances, but she vowed to help in any way she could. She felt the beginnings of mental panic start to poke and prod at her consciousness, and made a deliberate effort to calm down again.

"First things first. I have to call Eric." Speaking aloud and having a plan, or at least part of one, made her feel much better, and with new resolve and a deeper feeling of peace than she'd had all summer, she reached for her cell.


	7. Chapter 7

The rain had faded to a gentle patter by the time they finished their breakfast and Jess stepped out of the diner with a grin on her face she couldn't have hidden if she'd tried. He'd insisted on paying for their food, including a very nice tip and a sincere "thank you" to Marlie, who blushed and mumbled a thanks before darting away. Then, to Jess' shock, he'd held her jacket for her to put on and offered her his arm. She had a brief moment of feeling like royalty - a feeling that peaked as he murmured "After you, m'lady," and held the diner door open for her to step through. But now that they were outside, she felt herself tongue-tied. Mentally shaking herself, she turned to him, ignoring the fluttery feeling in her chest as he met her gaze.

"So, um...what do you want to see first?" she asked. His grin was wry and mischievous.

"I don't know. You're the tour guide, I believe. I shall follow your lead." He sketched a courtly, graceful bow the likes of which she'd never seen.

"You're such a gentleman," she blurted, the words not past her lips before she felt herself flushing in embarrassment. He simply smiled at her, a teasing grin.

"I try. And might I say you look quite becoming in pink?" She rolled her eyes and playfully slapped his arm.

"Behave, Luc." She turned in a circle, deciding on their direction, and looked back at him. "Well, since you're new and hopefully sticking around for a while, let's start off with the necessities - store, gas station - do you have a car?" He shook his head.

"Haven't had reason for one. I enjoy walking and hiking, as does my...sister...so we've usually just relied on our own two feet to take us where we're going." His pause was nearly imperceptible and Jess figured she'd just imagined it, so she motioned forward. Once more he held out his arm and she took it, this time noticing the feel of taut muscles beneath the material of his shirt. Trying to keep her mind out of the gutter, she started talking.

"So how old is your sister? What do you do for a living? I know you mentioned researching - what kind of subjects? Do you plan to stay long in Forks?" He laughed at her barrage of questions and she felt sheepish once more as he answered in kind.

"She's almost 18, and she's actually my step-sister. I am currently researching the religious beliefs of various cultures with a focus on Native American legends. And I hope to stay here for quite a while. I find myself growing fond of...this place," he finished, and she snuck a look at him only to find him gazing back at her.

"I hope you stay, too," she whispered. The moment stretched like warm taffy and for those few minutes Jess could pretend she was beautiful and wanted by the extrordinary man before her. His presence overwhelmed her, comforted her, and she felt herself leaning closer to him, closer...

The moment was shattered as a neighborhood dog began barking and she jerked upright again with a gasp. Hoping to cover her own acute embarrassment she motioned forward.

"So...um, yeah...let me show you how to get to the store from here." She began walking, knowing he was following, but unable to look at the man, this near stranger, that she had almost kissed.

* * *

He cursed his own reactions to the girl as she spun away from him and started off down the street. ~Good going, Luc. She's probably just reacting to your energy. You almost lost it!~ His internal self-flagellation continued as he followed her, no longer touching though there was nothing he wanted to do as much as feel her soft hand on his arm once more. He forced himself to concentrate on her voice, on the words she was speaking.

"...and as long as you can find your way to the diner, you'll be able to find just about any place in town. See, the diner's kind of dead center here, at least figuratively. See over there? That's the post office, and down here's Mort's gas station...though you probably won't go there much, not having a car..." He could tell she was babbling nervously, and he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Jess..." She turned around and her discomfort was evident on her features. He cursed himself again. "I am...I'm so very sorry for making you uncomfortable. I'm sure I can find my way around if you'd rather not remain in my company." He was shocked to see her eyes widen and hear her rushing reassurance.

"Oh god...oh, no, that's not it at all! I mean...I just...damn it, I almost...we...oh, I'm no better than Marlie, flinging myself at you...just...let's just..." He realized then that it wasn't reluctance, but rather that she felt the same inexplicable pull towards him as he did to her. Impulsively he reached up and placed one finger over her lips, noting how very soft they were.

"You are nothing like that girl. You are far too pure for that." He watched as, for some reason, her eyes began to fill with tears.

"I'm not pure. Not even remotely. I'm...dear god...I'm just not that..." He shook his head.

"Purity - true purity - isn't simply physical. Rather I should say it's more than physical. You are a genuinely good person, Jessica. And I'm very happy to have met you." He let his sincerity and honest admiration come through in his voice and watched as she relaxed and - to his delight - blushed once more.

"I'm not that good," she muttered, and he blinked in surprise as - seemingly of their own volition - her eyes lazily traveled down his body and back up again. "Not at all," she whispered. As he stood there, his blood pounding through his veins at her unintentional perusal, he found himself suddenly, desperately needing her to find him attractive, to see him as more than an acquaintance. He hadn't gotten over the blazing shock of that need before she came to herself and squeaked in shame.

"Oh my..." she said, her breathy words echoing simultaneously with his fervently whispered "Good Lord..." and they stood there on the sidewalk simply staring at one another. Finally, though, he was able to snap himself out of it and reached forward to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear.

"So, um...the store?" His voice was a mere shadow of its normal confident tone, but it was enough. She shook her head in a visible effort to gather herself before nodding at him.

"The store," she said firmly. It no longer felt unusual to offer his arm, to have her take it. Instead, it felt...well, it felt perfect. Arm in arm they began their slow walk down the street, falling back into easy conversation. They both wondered at the depth of the exchange they'd just experienced, but the day was still young and their newly-regained camaraderie filled them with warmth. The world, in their eyes, was good. And Luc noticed how little Lili's departure hurt when he had his golden-haired girl at his side.

* * *

Bella waved as Jake loped off into the forest before closing the door and locking it. "What a morning," she muttered, heading back into he kitchen to clean up. Carlisle wasn't back by the time she was finished, so she poured herself a glass of milk and wandered into the living room, flopping down on the comfortable sofa and pulling her legs up beside her. She sipped the cold liquid and watched as the drizzling rain made patterns and waterfalls on the enormous plate-glass window. The silence fit with her introspective mood, allowing her to sort through the events of the morning in a peace she had come to treasure.

Her musing took her - of course - to the friend who had just headed out. She'd never seen Jake like this, so uncertain and off-balance. ~This mystery woman of his must really be something,~ she mused. ~Carlisle?~

~Yes?~ His response was quick, but there was something...unusual...in his tone.

~What's wrong?~

~Nothing, really. Just...well, I'm on my way back. We'll talk when I get there.~ She got the sense of urgency, confusion, and a strange inkling of awe, and it intrigued her to no end. Resolving herself to patience, she stood and began stretching. The dancing and activities of the past few days had left her with unusual aches, and she knew that if she allowed her muscles to rest without at least warming up, she was going to regret it later. Standing in the center of the living room, she took a moment to breathe deeply, evenly, to regulate her breathing and center herself. It took a few moments, but she soon felt comfortable and began to work through the few exercises she knew, some basic yoga stretching she'd picked up with her mom went through a fitness phase a few years previous. She'd moved through the half-moon, through the sun salutation, and was just standing on her toes to begin the palm tree stretch when Carlisle came in through the kitchen. Not breaking her pose, she spoke over her shoulder.

"So what are we talking about?"

"Bella...you're beautiful," he whispered and she stumbled, coming gracelessly from her stretch and stepping backward right into his arms. For a moment she just stood there, his arms wrapped around her waist, her head tucked under his chin, enjoying the feel of his cool, solid muscles around her. She was curious, though, as to why his grip tightened, why he seemed to cling to her with a vulnerability she'd rarely seen from him. Twisting in his arms she caught his gaze, unable to make heads or tails of the expression in his eyes as he looked down at her.

"What is it, Carlisle?" she murmured soothingly, bringing her hands around to thread through his hair. He said nothing, just stared at her with something akin to wonder in his countenance. Finally, though, he spoke, his voice a whisper in the morning stillness.

"I think...I think I saw..." He trailed off and she prompted.

"You saw what?"

"I think I saw an angel..."

* * *

Author's Note: And thus ends Awakening. Despite the lack of regular updates, I can honestly promise that this story IS still continuing. I haven't forgotten it. In fact, Caralla's waiting in the wings right now glaring vengeance at me because I've been otherwise occupied and unable to "get to the good stuff." Actually, I'm not mistaken, she's playing Strip Parcheesi with the EPBs right now out of boredom. I have had to promise updates to keep her around, LOL

For all of you out there who are still bearing with me, I think you so very much. For your support, for all the wonderful messages - especially the recent condolences for my grandmother's passing - it's so humbling and wonderful to know that there are warm, kind people out there who care.

The next book - Question of Belief - is already begun, and I am hopeful that I will get a chance to upload the first chapter in the next couple of days. Keep an eye out for it. And once more, thank you. Thank you, thank you, and thank you. :-D


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